No Confidence? No Problem!

Everyone knows confidence is a key to success in just about everything we do in life, but unfortunately not all of us naturally feel comfortable putting ourselves out there for all to see (and more scary, for all to judge). I’d have to say that lack of confidence, in one form or another, is one of the top three issues I tackle with my coaching clients. So, is there hope for the shrinking violets among us? Yes, yes, yes, confidence can be learned! Here are a few tips I share with my coachees:

Follow your instincts. Learn to trust your intuition. Intuition is another thing that can be refined if you don’t think you come by it naturally. The greatest thing is to listen, listen, listen. Listen to what people are saying – both verbally and non-verbally, and then listen to your gut. When you listen to your gut, your values kick in and there’s nothing more confident than staying true to what you believe.

Tell your story. What makes you, you? Everyone has a story. Learn it. Perfect it. Articulate it.  Over and over and over until it trips naturally off your tongue. In addition to being able to share your personal story, make it your goal to become great at telling stories in general. Story telling is a great way to connect with others and make them remember you and your point of view. Practice makes pure gold when it comes to story telling. Master this and people will believe you are off da chain when it comes to confidence. Even if you don’t believe it yourself yet.

Jump in with arms wide open. Don’t second guess yourself. Pick a road, make a decision, ask for what you want, and go full steam ahead. Even if it turns out that it may not have been the best decision, it doesn’t matter. Very few things in life cannot be reversed or made better. What matters is that you go for it. And the more you go for it, the easier it will become the next time. Eliminate the fear factor and you will become, well…fearless!

Run your own race. In our ultra competitive world, it’s important to try and remain as grounded as possible by focusing on you, and only you. It’s easy to get caught up with what everyone else is doing or saying, and be side tracked. When you focus on yourself, only you determine if you are winning! (That was an unintentional nod to Charlie Sheen – a total 10 on the nutter scale). If you believe you are a winner, others will automatically believe it too! You’ve got this!

Share your moxie: Do you have any hard-earned tips on building confidence that you would share with other cool chicks trying to find their way? Please share them in the comments below and help a sister out! Xoxo. ~KG

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  1. Kathy Scasino says:

    I totally agree with jumping in “with arms wide open.” I left a safe and secure job for a new position that required me to obtain a certification in a new field. It was scary but I needed a new challenge. I love my new job and I’m definitely challenged in a good way.

    As a loyal member of the Moxie Squad, I do have one tip to share. I like to review some of my accomplishments when I need a confidence boost. Re-reading a paper that you wrote or pulling out a glowing performance review can remind you that you are a “cool chick” and deserving of success.

    Kathy Scasino, Epic Principal Trainer
    Yale Universty

  2. That’s a fantastic tip, Kathy…one I follow myself! For every position I’ve ever been in, I’ve had an e-folder and a paper folder labelled “KG Kudos”. Not only did it serve to lift me up whenever I was feeling self doubt, but I’d regularly pull examples or quotes from there when I was negotiating for a raise or promotion. Thanks for sharing your moxie – you rock! ~KG

  3. Love this post, Kelli! You’re spot on – confidence is a critical factor in success in business and life. The meek girls who do a great job, at their tasks, but can’t project confidence never seem to win the promotions or the contracts.

    One of my favorite tips, I’m sure came directly from you! It’s to make eye contact. Steady and bold, without being creepy. Whenever I consciously make and hold eye contact with the person I’m interacting with, I feel much more confident. That’s winning!;)

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